My Stupid Rants

Hello guys its the 23rd of February and 5 weeks into my paediatrics rotation, and suddenly I have less than 3 weeks to my exams. That's the scary thing about university. Mula2 relax, chill la exam lama lagi, study awal2 buat apa? Kiasu gila korang? EWW... Then WHAM!! You start panicking because exam is in 2 weeks and you haven't even started studying while your classmates whom started early mumbles to you how they're worried about their studies' and that they are soooo 'behind'.... BITCH YOU STUDIED ALREADY I HAVEN'T TOUCHED A BOOK THIS SEMESTER. The thing about these medical exams is that there's a ton of pressure that comes with it. It's not just about reading books, but the work that needs to be done. You need to put in the hours son. You need to practice! You may read and feel that you've memorized everything, but if you haven't practiced and a patient is put in front of you.... Everything just goes... BLANK.  You'll be stuttering...

Aku ingat lagi soalan yang mat saleh interviewer ni tanya masa aku nak sambung medik dulu. Are you sure about this decision? Then I would go on this heart-moving story of how I was inspired by the life of Tun M when he was a passionate and considerate Dr, how he made it a personal goal to help others that are less fortunate, and how God whispered to me that I could make a difference in the world! I remember it like it was 5 years ago :') This man used to get on his bicycle and helped to treat people for free  at their house bc they can't afford to go to the clinic. An inspiration. Fast forward 5 years, I ask myself that question... EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I think about it when I open my eyes 6 a.m. in the morning when my inner demons tell me to go back to sleep and skip class. I think about it while I'm rempiting on my bike, mencelah like The Doctor on my way to the Hospital trying to avoid harassing these frickin BMs' sidemirrors with mine. When my groupmate...

\ You know that feeling. When you've had a rough day, and you feel like you need someone to talk to, and they're not around, and this morning you made eggs that burnt and didn't come out nice and round shaped because the yolk messed up when you cracked it open, and you lie on your bed with your headphones in and all i want from kodaline comes on..... and you just spiral into the depth of depression.... That's how I feel right now. Weird thing is, I wasn't even sad to begin with. But I guess being trapped in this room with 70 lectures to go through in 7 days while listening to depressing music was bound to make me feel something right? But I guess I always was an emotional guy. The other day during a Gorillaz concert, I nearly teared up during a song... Guess I was really in the moment huh hahaha. Being emotionally sound though, being able to feel a wide range of emotions, and to detect emotion from others is a type of intelligence which I feel I'...

What is the pump? The pump is when you're on Super Saiyan mode. It is when you're body is a fucking boner. It is when blood rushes to your muscle, causing hypertrophy, rendering a superhuman figure to your once stickly body. Your huge bro, just saiyan It is like looking for gold at the end of the rainbow. When you look in the mirror, you see someone that you could be, but you will never be, cause you're pump is always gonna be bigger than you bro.

13 more days. 13 days to study. 13 days to not fuck up. You can do this boy. I know it's tough but we've been here before. Success is my only motherfucking option. Don't even think about failing. You will pass the exams. You will finish med school. You will become a great person. Now back to your books.

22/02/16 3.20 a.m. I miss cats. I have loads of them back at home. Cats are awesome. When you rub their back and they purr, it makes your heart purr as well. When they do silly things like ask you for food and you have to literally wave the food right in front of their eyes for them to notice. Or how they clumsily knock down the vase in your house. Or how they love to sit on your laptop and won't move. Or how they sit on your books when you're trying to study. Or how they sit on anything. They are effortlessly CUTE! You don't see many cats in Ireland. No strays. You see people walking dogs everywhere but no cats in sight. Well that's probably because walking and cats don't really fit in the same sentence. But I sorely do miss cats. You can see cats everywhere in Malaysia. A haven of cats. But if you do see a cat in Ireland, they are the cutest of living things! So fluffy and so fat! I miss cats. The kitten I found at Anjung, Yaya I've been thinki...

05/02/16 2.22 p.m. Nanti aku dah ada anak, kalau dia mintak duit dekat aku, kau sabar jap lah. "ABAH DULU! Masa takde duit dekat Ireland tu, abah bangun pagi buat nasi goreng, jual. takde mintak mintak ni" Yes, itu lah yang aku nak kata dekat anak aku nanti. Padan muka dia. Tapi sejujurnya, salah aku jugak. Tak rancang perbelanjaan aku betul betul. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail, and hey did I fail. But no worries, failure teaches you to be a better person, to learn from your mistakes, to make better decisions. And if I find myself in the same situation in the future, it's not a mistake. It's a choice. I have dug my grave, now I have to lie in it. It's not that bad actually, it keeps me alert and active. Sekarang takde masa dah nak bukak mata pukul 8 pagi, lepastu merungut tidur balik sebab nak sambung mimpi. Now as soon as the alarm rings I have to get up and start cooking (after solat of course) then rush to class. No more snooze button. I...