My Stupid Rants

"Boy, tell me what are the complications of PPROM" I looked up from my notepad. I've been burying my face in it, scribbling furiously what the specialist has been vomiting out for the past half an hour. Well, not just that. I've been trying to make myself invisible from the Dr's hawk eyes, like a rat scurrying into cover from the majestic bird. She was looking directly at me, her sharp glare tearing into my soul. I froze. Oh faeces, she's talking to me. The whole obs and gynae rotation flashed behind my eyes, like how a dying person experience seeing all the good and the bad that they've done throughout their lifetime. I remembered how I was nodding off to sleep as my group mate was presenting his case, a fine bed-time story if were to tell you. It wasn't my fault, I've always been a sleepy head. Heck, I could fall asleep standing up. I'd be resting my eyes and the next thing I know it's 10 minutes later! In my mind was chaos, I knew I ...

I'm depressed is something a everyone says once in a while. Bila sedih putus cinta depressed. Bila m.u kalah lawan wolves depressed. Bila terpaksa repeat paper final sebab dulu kau depressed pun buat kau depressed. Belum sebut lagi pasal yang gunakan depression untuk gain attention or sympathy from people. It feels easy to say that you're depressed when you're feeling low and sad, but do people actually realize what is depression? Is it just something that people would say to gain attention? Or is it actually an illness that causes one to lose the ability to complete one simple task: to live? Depression doesn't happen overnight. Dia tak macam sakit demam, harini elok sihat esok demam, kau tak boleh marah 'eh tapi semalam aku sihat je!' sebab, demam tu memang boleh berlaku bila-bila la hanat! So depression is actually feeling low for an extended period of time (>2 weeks) including symptoms such as loss of interest, loss of concentration and pessimistic vie...

Hello guys its the 23rd of February and 5 weeks into my paediatrics rotation, and suddenly I have less than 3 weeks to my exams. That's the scary thing about university. Mula2 relax, chill la exam lama lagi, study awal2 buat apa? Kiasu gila korang? EWW... Then WHAM!! You start panicking because exam is in 2 weeks and you haven't even started studying while your classmates whom started early mumbles to you how they're worried about their studies' and that they are soooo 'behind'.... BITCH YOU STUDIED ALREADY I HAVEN'T TOUCHED A BOOK THIS SEMESTER. The thing about these medical exams is that there's a ton of pressure that comes with it. It's not just about reading books, but the work that needs to be done. You need to put in the hours son. You need to practice! You may read and feel that you've memorized everything, but if you haven't practiced and a patient is put in front of you.... Everything just goes... BLANK.  You'll be stuttering...

Aku ingat lagi soalan yang mat saleh interviewer ni tanya masa aku nak sambung medik dulu. Are you sure about this decision? Then I would go on this heart-moving story of how I was inspired by the life of Tun M when he was a passionate and considerate Dr, how he made it a personal goal to help others that are less fortunate, and how God whispered to me that I could make a difference in the world! I remember it like it was 5 years ago :') This man used to get on his bicycle and helped to treat people for free  at their house bc they can't afford to go to the clinic. An inspiration. Fast forward 5 years, I ask myself that question... EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I think about it when I open my eyes 6 a.m. in the morning when my inner demons tell me to go back to sleep and skip class. I think about it while I'm rempiting on my bike, mencelah like The Doctor on my way to the Hospital trying to avoid harassing these frickin BMs' sidemirrors with mine. When my groupmate...